wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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