She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize