no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
