I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
