Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
