On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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