What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she pinky promised me she was 18
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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