cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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