Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
