This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
