He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
