why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
