My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize