is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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