just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
