Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
