You smell like stripper and shame
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
