Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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