I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
