Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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