Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize