May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
