i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We got so high we made milksteak
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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