I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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