I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
