Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
