I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
