You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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