Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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