i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize