Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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