i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
