what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
