You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
