ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
