Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
