you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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