bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
