i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize