Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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