i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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