We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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