I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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