Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
