these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
