I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
