Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
