hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
