I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize