i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
