Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
