I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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