Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
