I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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