I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
