Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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