I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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