he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
