I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need water and some morals
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
