Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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