check it out our google latitudes are spooning
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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