Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
