I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize