Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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