I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
