the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
