I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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