she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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