How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
