So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
