Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
