it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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