you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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