UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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